The ObservatoryConflict and relational stress
The presence of conflict, tension and destructive relationships.
Questions to ask yourself
- 1How much tension and conflict is there in your relationships right now?
- 2Which conflict takes the most energy?
- 3What is your usual pattern: avoiding, exploding, smoothing over?
- 4What is your part in keeping the conflict alive?
- 5What is the first step toward repair, or toward a clearer ending?
In the app, you rate the area 0–10, answer the questions, and watch how your answers shift over time.
Getting started
Exercise
Ground rules for arguing
Couples and friends who stay together argue too — but by rules. Set yours before the next round.
12 min · Discipline
Exercise
Repair after an argument
An argument that keeps nagging at you: take your part and make a small attempt at repair.
10 min · Compassion
Article
Four habits that predict a separation
Researchers who have studied thousands of couples can, with uncanny accuracy, tell which ones last. What they look at is four habits, and a fifth that rescues.
2 min · Rationality
Exercise
Meeting someone else's anger
When someone is boiling over, neither logic nor counterattack helps. What helps is less exciting, and it works.
10 min · Compassion
Exercise
Say it without accusing
Turn something hard you need to say from accusation into an I-message — and decide when you will say it.
10 min · Discipline
Session
Room for reconciliation
A quiet moment that makes it possible to carry a grudge a little more lightly, with no demand to forgive
9 min · Compassion
Exercise
The conflict ladder
An argument in five steps, from the harsh opening to the repair the next day
13 min · Rationality
Exercise
The first weeks after infidelity
A small plan for getting through the days: your body first, someone on your side, your questions written down and the big decisions postponed.
8 min · Discipline