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The Observatory
Exercise8 minSocialCompassion

When a friendship drifts apart

The grief of growing apart from someone without a breakup, and how to tell apart what can be mended from what has simply changed

The path

How it works

  1. What is happeningWriteChoose
  2. Letting the form changeChoose
Friendships rarely end with a break. Mostly they drift, quietly, until neither of you really knows why it has been so long. The grief in that is as valid as the grief after a clear ending — just less visible from the out …

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The evidence

Why does it work?

That social relationships thin out without active upkeep is a well-established part of research on social ties and health (compare Holt-Lunstad et al.). That grief can arise even from gradual distancing, not only from clear breakups, is well described in research on relationship loss, though it has been studied less specifically for friendships than for romantic partnerships.

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