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Comdira
The Observatory
Exercise9 minSocialCompassion

The wish box

Nagging changes nothing. Concrete, doable wishes do. Three slips each, one fulfilled in the week.

The path

How it works

  1. From nagging to wishingList
  2. The quality checkChoose
  3. The exchangeWrite
"You should be more present" cannot be fulfilled. It is a verdict, not a wish. "Tell me about your day while we cook" can be fulfilled tonight. The wish box is built on that difference.

Exercise in 3 steps, about 9 minutes. Doing it is part of Premium, which you try free for 7 days with no card. With Premium your answers are saved so you can pick up where you left off and look back at what you wrote.

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The evidence

Why does it work?

The format builds on the exchange principle of behavioral couple therapy (Azrin et al. 1973), which lives on in today's evidence-based couple therapies (BCT/IBCT, with good support). That positive everyday actions weigh more for relationship quality than grand gestures is consistent with Gottman's 5:1 findings. The box format itself is clinically tested rather than researched.

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