The ObservatoryForgiving someone
Forgiveness isn't saying it was okay. It's ceasing to pay interest on someone else's debt: a process in four steps.
How it works
- What forgiveness is NOTWriteRate
- See it clearlyWrite
- Change your vantage point, if you canChoose
- The decisionWrite
The word is so misunderstood that we start by clearing the ground. After that, you decide for yourself whether to go on. If there is threat or violence, or you are afraid of the person, this exercise won't solve that. Ca …
Exercise in 4 steps, about 15 minutes. Doing it is part of Premium, which you try free for 7 days with no card. With Premium your answers are saved so you can pick up where you left off and look back at what you wrote.
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Why does it work?
Forgiveness interventions are one of the few areas where the evidence has become markedly stronger since the book was written: structured models such as Worthington's REACH and Enright's process model reduce resentment, anxiety and low mood in randomized trials (meta-analysis Wade et al. 2014; Ho et al. 2024). The distinction between decisional and emotional forgiveness, and the line between forgiveness and reconciliation, follow the same research.
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Read more
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The word is so loaded that many people hold back from something that would help them. A sorting.
Exercise10 minThe responsibility pie
When something has gone wrong, the blame tends to take the whole pie. Here you count up and give each factor its real slice.