The ObservatoryAfter the breakup
Being left, or leaving, tears up more than the relationship. A gentle worksheet for the first while.
How it works
- Where you areRateWrite
- The remindersChoose
- The honest listList
- The first whileWrite
A breakup is grief with extra thorns: the other person is still out there, the memories live in your phone, and your sense of self has taken a hit. Nothing you feel is wrong or too much. Grief takes the time it takes. Bu …
Exercise in 4 steps, about 12 minutes. Doing it is part of Premium, which you try free for 7 days with no card. With Premium your answers are saved so you can pick up where you left off and look back at what you wrote.
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Why does it work?
Social support and putting the experience into words are the best-supported ways through a separation; expressive writing has been tested specifically after breakups with positive though mixed results (Lepore & Greenberg 2002), and self-compassion right after separation predicts better recovery (Sbarra et al. 2012). The counter to idealizing rests on established clinical practice rather than outcome research of its own.
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Read more
Simon and the contact rules
The first weeks after a breakup, and what actually helped.
Exercise14 minRewrite a chapter
You tell your life to yourself every day, and the version you choose shapes you. Write a dark chapter once more, just as true but complete.
Exercise2 minTwo minutes: room for the hard thing, one step anyway
Let the hard thing come along, and do one small thing that matters to you