The ObservatoryYour blind spots
Most of this is about being too hard on yourself. This is about the opposite: the places where we see ourselves as better than we are.
How it works
- The other sideChoose
- The spot in practiceWrite
- The check questionWrite
Self-knowledge has two enemies: self-criticism that sees too darkly, and self-image that sees too brightly. The second is harder to spot, because it does not feel like anything at all.
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Why does it work?
The better-than-average effect, the self-serving attribution pattern and the overestimation of one's own contributions are among the most replicated findings in social psychology (Alicke & Govorun 2005; Ross & Sicoly 1979). Self-handicapping is well documented (Jones & Berglas; meta-analysis Schwinger 2014, linked to poorer performance). That others judge some of our traits more accurately than we do ourselves is shown by Vazire (2010).
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Read more
Self-esteem can't be talked into being
Mirror affirmations, praise and "you are amazing" never built anyone's self-esteem. What builds it is less glamorous — and doable.
Exercise2 minTwo minutes: you are more than this day
Write two lines about something that matters to you, and why, when the day makes you feel small
Exercise15 minAsk someone who knows
Your self-image is built from the inside. The people who see you from the outside hold information you cannot reach on your own, if you dare to ask for it.