The ObservatoryHelping without taking over
Someone you care about is struggling. The art is to support them in a way that grows their own strength, not yours.
How it works
- Two kinds of helpWriteChoose
- The supportive kind of helpWrite
Goodwill can land as support, or as talking down to someone. The difference is rarely in the intention, more often in the form.
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Why does it work?
Autonomy-supportive help, which preserves the recipient's freedom of choice and own ability, gives better outcomes than controlling or taking-over help (self-determination theory; research on invisible support, Bolger et al. 2000, where support that is not experienced as help is the least burdensome). That validation should come before problem-solving is standard in counseling methodology. The format is clinically informed.
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