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Exercise10 minSocialDiscipline

Ten minutes: a place to belong

Find out what made you feel at home in a group before, and plan a first visit with a way out built in

The path

How it works

  1. Where you have belongedList
  2. What made it feel like yoursChoose
  3. The thresholdChoose
  4. A first visitWrite
Think of groups you have been part of, now or before: a choir, a team, a course, an association, a neighborhood, a faith, a work group. It may have been a long time ago, and it still counts.

Exercise in 4 steps, about 10 minutes. Doing it is part of Premium, which you try free for 7 days with no card. With Premium your answers are saved so you can pick up where you left off and look back at what you wrote.

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The evidence

Why does it work?

In two follow-up studies, one with people at risk of depression in a recreational group (52 people) and one with people with diagnosed depression in a therapy group (92 people), recovery was linked to how strongly participants felt the group was 'we', after accounting for starting level, attendance and type of group. The studies are small and show associations, not cause, so studies suggest that the feeling of belonging matters, but they do not prove that a particular setting helps a particular person. The plan with a built-in way out is a tool in the exercise and not something the study tested. Source: Cruwys, Haslam, Dingle, Jetten, Hornsey, Chong & Oei (2014), Feeling connected again: Interventions that increase social identification reduce depression symptoms in community and clinical settings, Journal of Affective Disorders 159, 139-146.

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More places

Read more

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The neighbor, the barista, the colleague in the elevator. Research is clear: small talk does more for mood than we think.

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Choose a person you have not been in touch with for a long time, write the message with a concrete time — then actually send it.

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Move the spotlight

Nervousness in social situations turns the spotlight inward, onto your voice, your hands, what you just said. Practice turning it outward again.